Saturday, 7 March 2009

Planned Closure on All Lines

A phrase to stop a beat in the heart of any self respecting weekending Londoner - "Planned Closure".

"Planned Closure" is of course is a euphemistic phrase. Behind it lies a whole self satisfied TfL lecture which actually reads:

"Dear Customer. Your journey is completely buggered. You know you are better heading straight home, but you are through the barrier now and its charged your Oyster Card. You are too mean to turn back now so you must carry blindly on into a void of despair. This includes an interchange at Elephant & Castle - lucky boy. And all because you thought it might be a good idea to go to M&S in Oxford Street to buy some new socks that you could have bought on Monday. Anyway, your socks would have lasted another week. Shouldn't you be darning the holes in them anyway? There's a recession on, or have you forgotten that? Oh well, too late - Loser!!!"

Were I in the marketing department of TfL I am sure there would be a better spin to put on this weekly farce. My money would be on advertising on electronic display boards "Surprise Openings". Today these occurred on the Central and Northern Lines. There, that's more like it.

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